She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
