I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize