I smell stomach acid.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
