And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
