so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
