Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
