Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
birth control should be required to get into college
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
