I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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