Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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