Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Randomize
