what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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