So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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