Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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