The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
