im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
