i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
