Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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