he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
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