sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
