I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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