so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
