I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
