yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
