3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
