yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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