bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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