my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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