she woke up with a sticky ear
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just invented taco cereal.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
