I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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