The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
