I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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