I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
