the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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