You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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