Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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