I wanna bring you to show and tell
i think my tv is drunk
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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