i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
A+ Viking dick
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
