first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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