a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
