I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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