thus making me awesome and them whores
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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