Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
