I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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