I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
