Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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