how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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