I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
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I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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