I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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