dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
