Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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