i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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