my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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