Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
