Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I want her autograph on my taint
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
