Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
