remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
