dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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