sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
